About 'vacancies for accountant'|National Youth Service Corps (NYSC) Vacancy : Accountant I (SGL 9) - Nationwide
This was from early on, a story I haven't told about the small apartment building I used to live in. A quick reminder to people who've forgotten or an introduction to those who never knew: In Apartment 5: Four college-age women from Buffalo - one with a baby - cramped into two small bedrooms. "Ever been to Buffalo?" one of the women - Shannon -- first asked me. Someone must have told her I was from the East. "No. Am I missing something?" "Winter lasts six months, and summer's miserable," she said. "When I was six, I told my parents I was moving to California. I'd never been here, just seen it on TV. But people always looked warm and comfortable. So I started saving when I was ten, and by the time I graduated from high school, I'd convinced three of my friends to come with me." They were Jackie, Kim, and Lisa, the last, the possibly unwed mother. They were all thin, pretty, and had various shades of hair. Each had some kind of low-paying job. "So what?" Jackie joked. "We'll all marry billionaires." In Apartment 7 were two college-age guys: Lonnie, an accountant, and Dale, a mechanic. Both were from L.A. but couldn't have been more different. Lonnie was tight, toned - an athlete who spent at least an hour each day in the gym and another hour oiled by the pool. He was almost always shirtless and was often accompanied by his pet boa constrictor, Yuck. Dale was taller, thinner, shaggier than Lonnie. His thick, dark hair nearly covered his eyes, and he was always grinning. "Great day!" he'd shout, often early in the morning when I was far from awake. Somehow, I'd agree, and he'd give me a big "thumbs up." But you couldn't hate the guy. When you needed something, or even when you didn't, he'd always volunteer. "I hosed down your car," he'd tell me. "Hope you don't mind." "You need extra cash?" I'd kid. "Oh, no! No!" He sounded almost offended. "I thought you were short on rent..." "No way! It's just that... well, your car looked like heck," he'd word politely. "So I gave it a squirt." In Apartment 9 were three other college-age women, these actually in college. All were from California. All went to UCLA. Teri, the prettiest, was also the most friendly. "You have to ignore certain people around here," she warned me pleasantly one afternoon as we walked from our cars. "They somehow never learned manners." "I can't imagine who you mean," I said, laughing. And we both glanced at the pool-view window of Vic, our pervert neighbor. "He giving you trouble?" "He wouldn't know how." I believed that. Though after Vic saw me talking with Teri, he said, "I see you're flirting with the bitch." "She's OK," I defended. "She'll take your balls off. Clean." The strange thing was Teri thought Vic was cute. "I like older guys. And I'd date him... Once." Teri's roommates were Annette and Veronica. They all had independent career plans, not involved with marrying money. Well, maybe... In Apartment 6 were four more guys, all in their early twenties, all grungily good-looking and sure of themselves. Two of the four were brothers, the younger being our new manager. "He's older, but I'm more responsible," Younger Brother claimed. The unrelated pair were their bass guitarist and drummer. As their shared van first pulled into our parking lot, I read the rolling advertisement on its side: "PARTY! Rock! Jazz! Disco! Rap!" An old phone number was newly painted out. It was a party, too, because - in the four apartments - we had six bucks and seven potential brides. You didn't even have to imagine the possibilities. You could just watch. Kevin started the games. He was the band's bass player and made an easy pass at Teri. She responded, grinning, though Kev was probably years younger than her usual range. But he was also Black Irish, and she was young Tuesday Weld. Together, they were the stuff wet dreams were made on. Soon after, I caught Teri whistling at Kevin from near the pool. It was early June, and the water wasn't warm enough for swimming, so Teri was merely sunning in something shy of a bikini. Kev quickly joined her, there was a splash, and then he stood shivering -- still fully dressed -- near the pool ladder. "Didn't think you'd do it," Teri said, laughing. Kevin grinned - as only a guy who's done something goofy for sex can. Next -- maybe challenged by Kevin -- Dale, the mechanic, went after Lisa, the unwed mom. "There is a father," Dale told me. He was changing the oil in his truck. "Well, of course, there's a father, dipwit," he corrected, comically hitting himself in the head. "What I mean is they almost got married." "Guy chicken out?" I asked. "Nah, Lisa wasn't sure he was really the dad. And she was afraid -- if the kid didn't look enough like the dude - that he'd beat the crap out of her." "Nice guy." "Yeah, well... you know New Yorkers." Third up was our fearless manager -- the lead guitarist but somehow too juvenile to grow a beard. He pegged Kim, the second New York girl. "She won't always be a secretary," he argued defensively. "Just like I won't always manage a dump." We were in the pool area, assembling a new gas grill. "Can you believe they didn't have one?" he complained. "Or lounge chairs... Rafts. First thing I said -- even before accepting this job -- is you gotta buy us something to sit on." He suddenly yelped, slicing his finger. "You OK?" I asked. "Oh, yeah... Do it all the time." Sucking his blood, he forced another bolt. "Of course, I was joking," he backed down. "I would've grabbed the job even without the chairs. We needed a place, bad." I wondered if they'd been kicked out of their last one. "Now Kim's pretty cagey," he went on. "Always needing to check with her roomies before she commits. But man, she goes down smooth." Lonnie, the accountant, was fourth, fifth, sixth, and seventh, dating quickly in succession: Annette, Shannon, Jackie, and Veronica. "I've got nothing against any of them," he assured me. "They're all great, and I've told them so. But you gotta keep moving." "Why?" I asked. We were on the balcony, Lonnie taking in the sun, Yuck coiled around his neck. As we talked, the boa constrictor curled curiously toward me. "Love's tough," Lonnie lamented. "You know that guy, up in Berkeley? The one who goes naked to all his classes? Most people think he's crazy. I swear he's just trying to get a date." "You don't seem to have that problem." "But I do! Honest! I can't find the girl I want to marry. And each time I try, the damn girls keep falling in love." I laughed. "Well, where do you meet girls good enough to take home?" That stopped me. "Guess I've never been that serious," I had to confess. "Maybe because... well, when I was still teaching... any time even my shoelace broke, it was a financial crisis." He waved that away. "I'll always have money... But they gotta want more than that." At that point, things were still relatively clean: One guy. One girl -- at least, one at a time. Then Older Brother lived up to his "Less Responsible" reputation by sleeping with Teri - while she was still seeing Kev. "It's cool," Older Brother insisted. "Kev doesn't care... Well, I mean, he does... But he doesn't... And, either way, he doesn't know what to do about it." I tried to sort this out. "Let me get this right - you're sleeping with Teri as a favor to Kev?" "Sleeping? We ain't even lying down." That really cracked him up. "But Kevin wants to break off with Teri?" I eventually pushed on "I told you - Kev never knows what he wants. That's what girls find cool." I sort of knew that already. It was an art I'd never mastered. "How's Teri feel?" I asked "What's it matter?" Older Brother steamed, seeming exasperated with me. "Two weeks, and everything'll change." It seemed cynical, but he called it exactly right. As soon as the pool heated, the passion play moved outdoors. Lounge chairs became apartments. Food was everywhere. The gas grill burned overtime. For extra fun, the guys seemed to love scaling the pool wall. They'd toe into its crumbling cinder block, swing themselves onto the carport roof, then cannonball into the water. When that proved too easy, they stormed the pool gazebo - higher and further away. Guys climbed and leapt, girls screamed and twisted to avoid getting sloshed, the baby cried, and burgers and beers and who knew what else were passed. Coming home late, I'd see bodies squirming in the turquoise pool light. I was never sure whose, or in what combination, but it hardly mattered. Yeah, there were fights: Screaming. Accusations. Whole apartments set against each other. And things flew: Out windows. Crashing to the cement. But music always soothed the heaving breasts, and, after midnight gigs, the band jammed around the pool. And they were good. I'd often come down to listen. Other people in the building hid. "Thank goodness for air conditioning," Sally, our oldest resident, said. "It's not really hot enough yet. But with my machine on, I can't hear a thing. It lets the children play." Other tenants, hard-working and middle-aged, were less forgiving: "They should all be evicted." "Four apartments?" I reasoned. "The owners wouldn't do that." "Then the guys should be whipped." Vic, our harmless pervert, was eager to apply that discipline -- if only to get a cleaner shot at the girls. I was sure they kept him in permanent orgasm; I'd often see his mini-blinds quiver. And the girls knew he was there. They'd sometimes wave, or "accidentally" flash him. The people who lived on the building's "quiet side," away from the pool, came off best . Though, ironically, two-of-the-three empty apartments were there. A sign out front steadily advertised "Vacancies" but, typically, when one young woman came to apply, she was greeted by Older Brother in drenched Speedos. She halted, involuntarily. "Come try the pool!" Older Brother nearly sang. "The water's f-i-i-i-n-e!" The girl stared. "I... I... I..." At that moment, Lonnie appeared on the balcony, in Spandex boxers, toting Yuck. The women screamed. "Damn!" Older Brother mourned as she fled - as if he'd even been close. Then he hit the pool, vaulted the gazebo, and - bleating like Tarzan - cannonballed home. I swam, too, in my free moments. Or when it was so hot when I finally crawled home that the pool was faster than a shower. The gang was always friendly, and I even thought about asking one of the girls out. But it was too much like dating students. In the pool, I mainly dove. Gliding to one end, reversing, then diving again and gliding back. Strange objects floated by... baby toys... other unfathomables. Or they swayed gently on the pool bottom. At work, I slowly circled a woman close to my age though far better established. She praised me relentlessly, but we both knew she was out of reach. Through friends, I met more accessible women, aspiring actresses, so insecure. One left the following message on a Sunday when I'd been suddenly called to work: "I spent the afternoon worried you were dead, and the evening hoping you were." All around me, hormones freebased, and I spent the most cloistered summer of my life. |
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